OnEurope Live!!

Ok peoples of Europe in a maximum of 3 words

2012-03-01T08:39:00.001Z

Tell me the best and worst songs so far. Go on. I dare you :))

2012-02-26T12:24:00.002Z

Tere päevast peeps

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Riigiametnik, and you may remember me from such blogs as 'Oneurope 2011 - the carnage that was Düsseldorf', and 'Melvin the Happy Pixie'. OK, so I fibbed about the last one.

Anyways, I have been subtly persuaded by the good people of this website to do more undercover work for you, the discerning reader, in the Baku beyond: a city that is some 346 hours ahead of the rest of Europe. Some of you may think you know who I am. But you may be mistaken. But if you DO know who I am, then keep it a secret. After all, the BBC can do it when deciding who'll sing in Baku for the United Kingdom of Stuff.

So if you have any burning questions you want me to ask those fine performers in Baku, drop the website a line and we'll see what we can do.

I might even deign to drop a further post or two in the run up to Europe's favourite musical event.

Keep smiling! ;-)

R x

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES - BEST EUROVISION EVAH!!

2012-02-25T13:24:00.000Z

well... not so much, but its certainly the best of this decade!

Having just calmed down over the introduction of Beautiful Song, the Austrians then go and do something wonderful and promote Trackshittaz from 2nd last year to the Wieners this year (see what I did there?!)

OMG it's genius!

Not content with That piece of genius, someone has taught Jedward how to sing!! - and they have produced a half decent fist of a schlager song!!

Part of me wishes I was going to Baku-On-Sea, because the First Semi Final is shaping up to be a thing of beauty (in the sense that it could well be a massacre!!) - Austria, Cyprus, Denmark, Hungary, Iceland, Latvia, Montenegro, Greece, Ireland for starters - Dear me god there are going to be some casualties amongst that lot!!

Now - usually my faves dont qualify, however.....

2012-02-18T21:03:00.000Z

However, Latvia have picked this year's ONEUROPE entry for the ESC. Really? - OH YES - Listen to the lyric and tell me you don't love it!!

Links and things for tonight ( www.oneurope.biz will be chatting too!)

2012-02-11T17:29:00.001Z

Norway FINAL - Saturday at 1855 GMT - http://www.nrk.no/ and http://www.eurovision.tv/

Hungary FINAL - Saturday at 1910 GMT http://www.dunaworld.hu/televizio.html and http://www.eurovision.tv/

Iceland FINAL - Saturday at 2030 GMT - http://dagskra.ruv.is/sjonvarpid/streymi/beint/
Sweden Semi Final 2 - Saturday at 1900 GMT - http://www.svt.se/

Lithuania Semi Final 2 - Saturday at 1900 GMT - http://193.219.139.118/flash/player.aspx?channel=1&quality=high

back at Chez Oneurope

2012-02-05T14:25:00.000Z

We got home at a reasonable hour and still liked the Maltese show and the song, we were sat next to Kurts Mother who was beside herself when the scores came in - he came over and hugged her and did all sorts of singing and getting very excited and actually was nearly crying.

It clearly means so much to him - and good luck too him I say. We fans are so quick to criticise other songs as shite, that when you see the joy of someone that has won the ticket it is hard to look him in the eye and say "yeah well your songs shit" - He has just had the biggest moment of his life - let him enjoy it!!

3rd quarter

2012-02-04T21:22:00.001Z

12 songs down. Only Richard thingy got me going in that quarter.

2012-02-04T20:53:00.001Z

8 songs down. Fab is better than his sister. Mystifying eyes was ace.

The first four

2012-02-04T20:26:00.001Z

Were very good indeed. Petals on a rose to the winning so far. Though two big faves to come

We are in Malta

2012-02-04T19:25:00.001Z

That is all!!!

Welcome to Malta

2012-02-04T13:46:00.000Z

As you may or may not be aware - OnEurope has decamped to Malta for the Malta Eurovision 2012 and what an experience it has been. Weather and food have been above optimal, music has been - well - suboptimal I guess - with the shock that there will be no Elenor Cassar or Whoop it up tonight, it was mutted that we wouldnt be going at all. However, the taxi has been booked, the tickets have been paid for, so there isnt that much choice really!!!

So - This French song then.....

2012-01-29T18:01:00.002Z

If you havent got it - Pick it up at OnEurope ( http://www.oneurope.biz)
What be your thoughts? - Mine? - Thought it was very nondescript to be honest!
Ask me again later!

Tonights Streams - Fancy a visit to OnEurope too? - you know you must!!

2012-01-28T13:37:00.001Z

Norway - 1955 CET at http://nrk.no/

Hungary - 2015 CET at http://videotar.mtv.hu/livem1.aspx

Iceland - 2130 CET at http://dagskra.ruv.is/sjonvarpid/streymi/beint/

OnEurope and ESCChat will be doing their thang!

www.oneurope.biz
www.esc-chat.com

PhilC

So - 17 weeks on Saturday ( or there abouts)

2012-01-25T18:50:00.000Z

Some of you will be in a half built hall in the arse end of nowhere watching the best 26 countries compete for the grand prix. Good luck with that one ;)

Really though, would you trust Azeri's equivalent of Bob da Builder to get the place complete and ready on time?! - I'm slightly doubtful - still, there isnt a back up plan now......

Or is there?! ;p

Nailing ones colours to the mask.... OnEurope supports Regina Osk

2012-01-22T11:56:00.002Z

Just cos its bloody brilliant!!!

Tonights Streams - Fancy a visit to OnEurope too?

2012-01-21T13:08:00.000Z

Norway 18:55-19:55, 20:25-20:55 GMT at http://www.nrk.no/nett-tv/klipp/821068/
Denmark 1900-2115 GMT at http://www.dr.dk/melodigrandprix/forside.htm#/28792
Iceland 2030-2140 GMT at http://ruv.is/ruv

OnEurope chat will be open for all 3! at http://www.oneurope.biz - other chats and sites are clearly avaliable. However i'd be chuffed if u visited ;)

Is it me or has.....

2012-01-18T19:16:00.000Z

Someone impersonating Ronan Keating written all the Danish Finalists?!?!- #fuckinghell! -Why on earth does a broadcaster think that one success is a recipie!

/rant!

In other news, there are some decent semi finals this weekend, we'll be covering them with a live chat (that hopefully will work!) - If you've not seen the national final calendar on the site, get on it!!

Phil!

Why songs I like dont qualify... Part 1

2012-01-16T19:21:00.000Z

It seems, good people of OnEuropeland, that I am renowned for having no taste, therefore in a show of extreme anger only reserved for cheese haterz I shall show you reasons why songs I like don't qualify. Take, for example, this piece of genius from 1989. Tell me, what's not to vote for?!

Tell me why? - WHY didn't this qualify.. It has *everything*... no?!

So that was week 2 how did it do?!

2012-01-15T16:37:00.003Z

Too many Semi Finals - aaaargh!!! ;)

Bulgaria was hideous - It had far too many bad songs and then the right ones got through
Iceland was epic and excellent and has a couple of very good songs
Latvia was bonkers!

But what do you think?

I had a bad dream ( http://www.oneurope.biz has more news)....

2012-01-08T18:11:00.002Z

That I sat through a Latvian Semi with a woman dressed as a cake.... Paradise Oskar's twin shouting at me and other things...

It wasnt real, was it?!

tonight.....tonight...... Live Chat at OnEurope tonight!!!

2012-01-07T13:05:00.000Z

There's a Lithuanian Semi Final tonight.... Apparently ( Bad webmaster fan for not knowing this!!) - it's at 19.20GMT. We might well be running a live chat!

I bet you can't hold your water can you!!

PhilC

Merry Cheesemas!!

2011-12-25T14:50:00.000Z

Mmmmmmm! - Doesnt it make you wish you were me!!

Ahem - Merry Christmas one and all ;)

Yep, that'll do for now.

2011-12-22T17:24:00.000Z

Adjacent countries, adjacent years, and a couple of really splendid - very different - efforts. Absolutely love these two, and it seems a good pair to sign off with for the season.

Ewert Sundja - Dance. Didn't win.

Madara Celma - Away From You. But really should have done.

Back in 2012 with the usual lunatic assortment of 2012-ness... which I gather has already started, though I'm trying to ignore it until we're at least in the same YEAR as the contest we're picking for...

Now new opportunities are being missed...

2011-12-14T12:00:00.004Z

...perhaps it's nearly time to wind down the missedness for another year. Nearly. I'll blast through to Christmas first though!

Now, I'm sure you've all often wondered what would happen if some sort of fiendish Doctor Who-esque plothole were to open up in the space-time continuum of song, and the popular Swedish beat combo ABBA were suddenly taken out of the time stream, as if they'd never exi... exi... did you just feel something wibbly happen? No? Hmm, must have been nothing.

Anyway, as I was saying, here's the song with which Lasse Berghagen stormed to victory in Brighton 1974, before blasting his way to international megastardom, with the smash-hit musical and movie "Ding Dong" collecting his work into a vaguely coherent narrative still storming theatres to this very day, and at the height of his fame even being the image behind a best-selling series of collectible posable plush bendies. I give you, "Min Karlekssang Til Dig" - though you'll already know it as well as your own names, I'm sure! It's hard to imagine now how anything could ever have even considered competing with it.

Lasse Berghagen - Min Kärleksång Till Dig. Won by a landslide.

Just reminding myself ( Swiss Final tonight btw!)

2011-12-10T13:45:00.000Z

That it's actually DECEMBER the TENTH......

Twenty FOUR weeks before the contest and, yet, the Swiss see fit to annoy me with a Final that starts at 7.05pm UK time and ends sometime next week!

How can I get them back?
Oh yes, by this!

Just remember - dodgy Norwegian counting can spoil your day!

OnEurope will be live chatting tonight and probably blogging as well - you lot are spoilt - check the main page ( www.oneurope.biz) for details!

Casting my Pearls before Schwein

2011-12-07T12:21:00.000Z

This has just got to be my best work ever. Because there's a popular phrase "Casting your pearls," right, "before swine". But also, there are popular missed Euro-opportunities from the late 80s and early 00s by groups called The Pearls and, umm, Knorkator. So what I've done, yeah, is to subvert it by putting those two missed opportunities into one neat parcel with the Pearls first, so therefore before the Knorkator. Oh man. I'm going to have to have a nice lie down and possibly a couple of chocolate hobnobs to recover from this level of brilliance.

The Pearls - Love Come Down. Didn't win.

The Knorkator - Ick Wer Zun Schwein. Didn't win.

A second missed in a week - you are spoilt

2011-12-06T18:55:00.001Z

Keeping on the theme of " songs that should have got through a pre-qualifier" we're going back to 1993

Damn their OWN jury for giving points to every bugger else!! ( and yes - I know they had to - but dont let that stop me!)

She didn't - but she bloody should have done!

just because - she's worth it

2011-12-04T19:12:00.003Z

MKRTV - More of this please this time round!!

Didnt even qualify to the final - silly juries

*edit* I am DISGUSTED to learn that it scored a mighty FOURTEEN points in the 1996 pre-selection!!

One Night, Two Queens... No Wins.

2011-11-30T20:41:00.000Z

Sometimes an idea comes along that's so fabulous that it merits being used more than once. Like, say, taking Mozart's Queen of the Night aria from The Magic Flute and building a contemporary pop choon around it. And entering it into a Eurovision national final. And doing it some really quite serious damage live on stage. And not winning.

Haakon Pedersen och Elisabeth Berg - Nattens Drottning. Didn't win.

Nikita - Kraljica Noci. Also didn't win.

Bloody Maltese!

2011-11-26T11:22:00.000Z

As you are doubtlessly aware, we were planning a trip to the Maltese Final ( in order to actually explain it to people!!) - and what have PBS gone and done? - Changed the bloody date!!

Dunno if we are going, but in the meantime - last evening NickD and I found some Global Kryner Classiques!! - Here's one of the best

This is just brilliant! - More please?!

Angela Fricking Wiedl

2011-11-24T19:15:00.002Z

Europe's Loss is OnEurope's gain!!

You know what this place needs?

2011-11-24T12:42:00.000Z

Panpipes and yodelling. That's what this place needs. You can't go wrong with panpipes and yodelling. More please!

Angela Wiedl and Dalila Cernatescu - Echos. A shocking THIRD. Dearie me.

More Şebnem, vicar?

2011-11-16T11:45:00.001Z

So it's 1998 - no, it is - and over in Ankara and/or Istanbul, TRT have struck gold. 23 years of hurt never stopped them dreaming, and finally the delightful Şebnem Paker has shown them that a Top 3 placing is actually completely doable, and with an even better song and a fabulous draw position she might let them dare to dream of going all the way in Birmingham and bringing the trophy home. It makes the national final an absolute no-brainer, doesn't it?

Şebnem Paker - Çal. Won by a landsl... oh.

and back to Portugal...

2011-11-12T18:03:00.000Z

If, like me, you understand this contest, this next song will make you question the very fabric of your being and go " what the f*** is that?! Thankfully, this is the song that the FDC 1994 didn't have either!!

Blue Tonton - They really didn't..... 15th out of 20 in the semi's. Thank the lord!

Euroland, land of Opportunity (Missed)

2011-11-09T19:45:00.001Z

Some cynical economist types have recently been hypothesising that the Euro project was obviously doomed from the outset, if you only listened for a second to the kind of songs on the subject that were being submitted for consideration for a trip to Jerusalem in 1999. We at OnEurope are not so cynical, and believe that if the Euro project could survive these... it can survive anything!

Karine Trecy - Euroland. Unfavourable exchange rate.

Jacob Haugaard - 3 x Euro. Intolerable exchange rate.

Remind me why (live blog)

2011-11-08T20:13:00.001Z

Watching the Swiss Italian regional final was a good idea???

Sarah green from going live has sung the first song, and what a divine choice that was !!!!!

Song 2, best worst thing ever. If you get to YouTube this later, you really must. It was hideous, Elsie hideous in fact but fab!!!

Song 3. Faux 80s rock. Best thing in it!!!

Song 4. Zzzzzz

Song 5. Entitled unbreakable, unbearable more like!!!

Unfortunately two terrible songs to finish with!!!!

Then they sing volare badly. Is it over??? Yes almost
More later

Oneurope will be tweeting about the Swiss Italian regional thingummy

2011-11-08T19:25:00.001Z

...from about 2000 GMT (2100 CET)

They might be very anguised tweets indeed!

Follow us at @oneurope_esc

Now, we're not going to Baku but....

2011-11-08T17:28:00.001Z

You are going to get an way trip for team OnEurope. We are off to Malta
In Late January to cover my first and Nicks manyth international national final!!!

Its not 17 days in Baku, granted, but it's the closest we'll all get this year.

I trust you'll want cheese and stuff?!?! And remember franko's memorable trip to Valletta in years past, what could possibly go wrong?!?!?!

Oh Portugal, land of delights

2011-11-06T18:14:00.000Z

This song needs no words..... we'll be visiting FDC lots and lots if this is anything to go by!

Shocking close.... see below

I then checked the results after I decided to post this and to my utter shock and surprise, this only finished ELEVEN points behind Dulce Pontes, who went on to be a famous fado singer.... I wonder what happened to Blocco?!

Oportunidade perdido estiloee-Atlantico

2011-11-02T12:01:00.000Z

I know what you're thinking - can there possibly be even sparklier gems in the RTP Festival da Canção than those which have progressed to the international final? Surely there can't. And indeed, there aren't.

There are some rather cute little bits of fluff that are worth a listen though, like this doo-dah from 1991. I don't think that Carla Sofia was in widescreen at the time, and it's made her look a bit chunkier than she's supposed to be. I hope.

Carla Sofia - Te Amo E Não Pensei. Nearer than you'd think...

For all our Norwegian visitors.....

2011-10-29T18:34:00.000+01:00

I was trawlling NRK's website and came across MGP 2008 and this genius! - Whilst it is an advert for Eurovision singers not to sing live, it's also bloody ace!

Genius.... That is all!!

Unfortunately, though, they are not this lot which are a genuine missed opportunity....

Opportunity? - Meet Missed!!

You're a Missed Opportunity.

2011-10-26T11:12:00.002+01:00

For this week's opportunity of missedness, we're heading down to the tiny Pacific island archipelago of eSpain, nestling in the Alps between Andorra and Portugal, and their national preselection of 2004. 2005? Assuredly yes! Those witchcrafty minxes Son de Sol did indeed beat some other people to get that coveted ticket to wherever it was that year. These were four of them.*

Las Supremas de Mostoles - Eres Un Enfermo. Would have won on a 1.5% swing.

*Note to self - remember to double-check this paragraph before publication just in case minor factual errors have crept in.

Call me Bubbles, Dahling.... Everybody does...

2011-10-24T16:47:00.000+01:00

I've found the song that Walliams and the other one clearly saw while checking out Bubbles Devere.... It doesnt do what I expected it to do, it's some sort of schlager-ballad mix... and yet..... it has a certain something!! - Clearly my unexpected falling over accident that I have earlier on today has addled my brain!!

Call him 3rd, dahling, everyone did!

Well swipe me, www.oneurope.biz complains!!

2011-10-23T11:39:00.000+01:00

As you can see - I've stuck a links list on the right hand side of the page, If you know of any links that want to be added here, mail me at oneurope@ntlworld.com and i'll endeavour to shove them up here, and the main site (http://www.oneurope.biz) has been moaning that you are leaving her out of your OnEurope experience and she requests your company! - You'll find all the usual bits on their too - after all, this is supposed to suppliment that!

In visitor news, as you clearly all care (!), the blog is running at DOUBLE the number of hits as last year, even if we exclude the porn spam attack of visits mid month ( grrr) so, ta!, but the main site is running at less than half. I shouldnt complain, cos one way or another they are both "OnEurope", but...... cheer me up will yer!

In Video news, I have decided to go back to 2004 for a song that even the excel spreadsheet doing the votes gave 0 to! - Thankfully Switzerland have learnt from their mistakes - as have Monaco ( who, having had NO ONE televote, decided to enter a 0 return, hence making the scoreboad do weird things!)
It must be pretty bad to know that even a random computer glitch can't make your song score any points!

A missed arsebiscuits.

2011-10-19T11:32:00.000+01:00

Dammit. I'd written some perfectly good idle whimsy linking this to Steps, the Stone Roses and the greater glories of Israel at Eurovision, and Blogger's gone and swallowed it. Well, I can't be bothered rewriting it, so you'll just have to imagine how it might have gone.

Arse and, indeed, biscuits.

Lizette och Bizazz - Som Om Himlen Brann. It nearly did, remarkably...

Readers Letter.......

2011-10-17T20:28:00.000+01:00

For the first time in about 2 years, i've had a readers letter!!

Mark Butler writes:

"Did you see this - her coach must be Ukrainian"

I've always wondered how Rythmic Gymnastics and Eurovision would weld together in my minds eye, and I know you lot have too - enjoy and thanks Mark!!

For my weekly post. I am going...

2011-10-16T18:22:00.002+01:00

.....to the dutch speaking bit of Belgium! ( you remember them, the bit that doesnt acknowledge the French or German bit!)!!
They only get a go every other year, so they make their selection as convoluted as possible - and rightly so!. For this upload, I have gone with ........

<edit> - I was going to do something benign - but shit me, I found the best thing ever! - The Belgians should do off-key schlager more often and indeed run out of words towards the end and, if you listen very carefully, you can almost hear them counting the dance steps as they sing... " 5..6..7..8.."

Talisman..... hmmmmmmm... It didn't, but it is genius!!

A Missed Opportunitree.

2011-10-12T13:51:00.000+01:00

2010 was a strange year around eastern and central Europe. People thought the route to success involved dressing up as trees. There is an alternative universe where 20 minutes into semifinal 1, we hit a run of some Slovakian people dressed up as fairly accomplished trees, Kuunkuiskaajat respectfully leaving their preview trees behind in Finland, and then some Latvian people dressed up as really rather unconvincing trees.

Naturally, I'm focussing on the unconvincing ones. To be honest, it's just an excuse to go all fanboy on Kuunkuiskaajat again for the first time in ages...

Konike - Digi Digi Dong. They really didn't.

Finnish trees!

Is this REALLY the land of opportunity (missed)?

2011-10-05T11:29:00.001+01:00

So, much to our surprise, we find ourselves being chivvied towards a Maltese expedition in February. I was leaning towards Portugal, himself was tempted by Sweden, and I suppose if you draw a line between the two then Valletta could be on the midpoint - well, so long as it's not an especially straight line, anyway.

This leads me to research what a Maltasong trip might actually mean in terms of missed opportunity. In 2003, for example, it didn't have to be Lynn Chircop that went to Planet Latvia. It could easily have been Lawrence Gray. I'm not sure which one's Lawrence and which one's Gray... I suspect that neither is either, but it's so hard to be confident on these questions.

Lawrence Gray - Why Not, as demonstrated by two small hyperactive dogs. They didn't win.

And now I have the blogger app on my I phone

2011-10-04T08:33:00.001+01:00

Content ahoy? I should think so!!! In gastronomy related matters I think the next picture will show that anyone who thinks cheese and breakfast pie are as good an idea as Baku and Eurovision, or Sweden and Glowsticks.

Its gonna kill me to say this but.....

2011-10-04T08:17:00.000+01:00

I have decided not to go to Baku this year!!

Now don't cry or panic. We will still have a presence out there live. Your trusted Roy D Hacksaw and your mysterious Estonian correspondant will give you all the news, and your long suffering webmaster and his able thunderbird Nick will still chip in with news n rehearsal reviews n things!!!

In reality, the lack of accred last year annoyed me, but not to a giving up degree. The distance, lack of coherent organisation or venue plus the expected accommodation price hikes meant I could not justify 17 days in glorious Baku!!

I remain to be swayed to go, but right now..... Nope!!!

So you've doubled the number of visitors in September, yeah....

2011-10-02T13:45:00.000+01:00

(thank you) and you only come here for Cheese and Eurovision during May, apparently, according to the BBC - but what do they know ;))

In recognition of your sterling efforts, a soupcon of videoness - ooh and if you could visit www.oneurope.biz too - it'll be getting more alive as the weeks go on, that would be great!

Bebi Doll, Didn't win - but was shocked it scored ONE!

You want content?

2011-09-30T13:11:00.000+01:00

And disgracefully, I'm two days behind schedule and I've not given you any. Shame.

UK 1989 - Jane Alexander - Shame. It di... oh, you've got the idea by now. :-)

Turophiles of the world, unite!!

2011-09-25T19:10:00.000+01:00

You lot are needy!! - You have wanted content for years, and now you get it, and you visit. If only it had been this easy years ago.

Anyhoo, for MY missed opportunity i'm delving into the contest proper. Yes, I know I really shouldn't, but I think that I must!! - The year is 1994.... when the World wanted to be more Irish than Ireland.... all except, well...... the country that is out on its own. When the chips are down, and Europe is in recession, one can always count on the Greeks to be, well, Grek!!

It's about a boat and a fisherman apparently... Shame, they need the commerce now to kickstart their economy!!

In more Turophilic matters, as I know thats what you come here for and not the Eurovision, oh dear me no, It has come to my attention that Azeri Cheese does not figure high on the list of foodstuffs to be served to foreign delegations in a half built stadium in Baku-on-sea. Principally because I could not find any pics of any!! Thank god I think I am not going ( to be confirmed), a Eurovision without Cheese?, the very nerve!!

Just another Missed Opportunity. I think. Perhaps.

2011-09-21T11:18:00.000+01:00

Now, those of us of a certain vintage will be able to remember a time when Them Finns were still trying to work out how to win this silly contest that we occasionally adore - or at the very least, be in the same postcode as winning it. It was a bafflement to many in 2005, YLE's final year of unremitting fail, when this got overlooked by the judging panel. This is the first time I've seen it performed live, and I still can't actually see why Geir Ronning was regarded as better. On the other hand, I still can't actually see anyone performing the male vocal part either... it's an unsolved mystery, like the exact whereabouts of the Tom McGrath Perpetual Trophy (sponsored by the Retail Jewellers of Ireland).

What do you reckon (about the song, rather than the Tom McGrath trophy...)?

Elena Mady - An Actress. Guess what? It didn't win...

Dutch Courage??

2011-09-20T18:56:00.000+01:00

This song has so many words in it - I have to share it!! - It's just silleh!
( been updating the site btw so go and take a look, especially if you are from ESCbuzz.com!)

God this is the listening equivalent of camembert....

Spot the difference?!

I've been trawling the depths of that barrel

2011-09-17T18:53:00.001+01:00

It seems that NickD of this parish has set an incredibly low Swedish Standard and it is up to me to rescue this blog and site in order to give you the music you deserve.....

Then I thought, "Frick that!!" and decided to see how far down we can actually go!
Firstly, I thought of this.... back from the days where a 56k baud rate was shockingly quick but the level of music was still at 14.4k

Netherlands Post still have a job after this e-mail!!

Then, after mopping up the blood from my aural orifices, and still not thinking that this was a bad idea, I stayed with The Netherlands. Now, whilst Maribel was winning, clearly someone else had opened the Dulux Pastel Pallette and thought " hmmmm, thats nice... now, if only I could write a song around people wearing this...."

.....And so it was!!

**edit** - I was having a quiet trawl through YouTube, and spotted this that I missed from the Dutch Barrel, how remiss of me!!

3 budding Basil Brush impersonators?!

Another Wednesday, another missed... costume fitting?

2011-09-14T20:25:00.000+01:00

Now, see, I'm obviously doing the whole Nordic area to death at the moment - and by "Nordic area", I equally obviously mean "Sweden and Denmark". What can I say? I know what I like, and I like what I know!

Now, the 2003 Meli...Meldo... Mediothingy was clearly brilliant. The Swedish public were less so. There's absolutely no excuse for something this good coming 7th out of 8 in the semi-final, besides perhaps the fact that Kerli obviously wasn't able to make the date for choosing stage outfits and just slung something together out of her wardrobe at the last minute in the vague hope that it might seamlessly blend in with her team-mates' choices. Nearly got away with it, too...

Kerli and Locatellis - Let's Go. It didn't even make Andra Fricking Chansen, never mind win!!!

a suitable repost

2011-09-07T20:47:00.000+01:00

Denmark is a place of amazing riches.....

Unfortunately, this isn't one of them! - I dont know what they were trying to achieve, but it's neither Rock nor Roll nor any good, but its worth a sensory attack me thinks!!

eeeerm...........

More Danish M.O., vicar?

2011-09-07T11:28:00.002+01:00

Emboldened by what happened last time I visited Denmark for this thing (the response was a very welcome bit of Alfs Poiers, and you can't really have too many bitses of Alfs Poierses in my opinion), I'm heading back. It wasn't all Bertha Kerr in 1989, you know... it was also very lovely interesting understated studio songs being wrecked by being sung just a shade too big in the final 45 seconds or so in an attempt to get noticed. A tad overcooked. Just a mere soupcon of a modicum of trying a little too hard...

Pia Cohn - Nu Er Jeg Blot En Stemme. It didn't win.

I think that this has to be a missed opportunity too

2011-09-04T16:25:00.000+01:00

Let me take you, dear reader, back to 1979 - a rather simpler time where Men were Men and women knew their place.....

Clearly in Germany that place was being at the front of this lot being aurally molested by 3 suitors!!

( Lady Lady Lady....... Surrounded by the Bee-gees of Germany?!)

A Missed Missed Opportunity and an Unmissed Missed Opportunity.

2011-08-31T13:31:00.007+01:00

So I was chatting with Phil last night about possible MO's for the week, and I suggested Katie Lovely from the 2001 Irish final - a song with great resonance in OnEurope circles, as it spawned our beloved Katie Hideous. More than one song in the years since has been totally Katie Hideous.

"That'll do nicely!" he replied, which is a sure indicator that I need to keep looking.

So I found this instead, from the UK. 1962 is about as far back as I'm ever likely to go for this feature, and I can't even find any visuals for it. Just a nice little YouTube video featuring a long, lingering shot of the record sleeve (remember when records had sleeves? Remember "records"? Remember "music permanently stored on physical media"?). Oh dear. Showing my age again...

Donna Douglas - The Message In A Bottle. It didn't win.

[EDIT] - Hey, I'll tell you what... I don't think that's a record sleeve at all. I think that's the front cover of a piece of sheet music. Heavens above!

For my repost...

2011-08-26T20:06:00.000+01:00

This week - I have hidden the ICBM's and the not-so-smart bombs back in the cupboard and delved into the real missed file...

Can't believe we haven't done this one!

Denmark, land of opportunity (missed)

2011-08-24T10:53:00.000+01:00

I know I'll regret going to Denmark for our little musical tour, as Phil is heavily armed with deeply distressing missed Danish opportunity and there'll probably be either a scatter-gun bombardment or a precision strike of awfulness within 20 minutes of him reading this. Nevertheless, I shall take the punt.

It's a double dose of decisive Danish winningness for the week. The performers - 37 years' span of ESC winningness. The songs... 1 year's span of not so much. But it was the late 1970s and DR had only just come back from a long holiday and they'd pretty much forgotten how to do it, so we can forgive them. I think.

Olsen Brothers - San Francisco. Didn't win.

Grethe Ingmann and Bjarne Liller - Alt Er Skont. Didn't win.

An opportunity which urgently needs to be missed

2011-08-19T13:15:00.001+01:00

So, word on the wire is that Geri wants to reform the Spice Girls and head off to Baku to get some styling and consulting tips from the delightful Mehriban Aliyeva, and maybe perform one of their songs for her. Sources are the ever-reliable "Some media outlets... somewhere. In Europe. And other places", so it's likely to be true.

We at OnEurope have this to say on the subject:

Mrrrrpphhhhphhhht.

That is all. Unless it ends up looking something like this, in which case we at OnEurope will be wholly supportive of the endeavour.

Nick is clearly deranged

2011-08-17T18:08:00.002+01:00

Because the MO of modern MF is clearly.....

THIS

An unusually recent missed opportunity.

2011-08-17T13:12:00.000+01:00

Looking back at my choices of missed opportunity over the years, I can see a pattern having formed. Apparently the 80s and 90s were brilliant, the 70s were OK and time stopped round about the turn of the millennium. This clearly isn't right.

I also have this habit of ignoring the bottomless pit of missedness that is Melodyfe... Medolif.... Mediothingy. This, clearly, must change.

Now, logically, knowing everything that we now know, Sweden must have missed an opportunity big time in 2010. Or did they? Would this have been the perfect moment to get Eric off the waiting list, or is Popular the better bet? Buggered if I know...

I think its my turn

2011-08-14T19:01:00.000+01:00

Talking of things that have been missed by Europe, at this Juncture I feel I must mention this little ditty - sounds familiar?

Clearly The Colonel decided a song about Chicken was not appropriate for Eurovision, so she wisely changed it to a song about an old woman with young kids, thats *so* much safer!!!

I predict a trio... of Missed Opportunithrees!

2011-08-10T20:15:00.000+01:00

So yeah, it's all a bit miserable here on the little island at the moment. Riots this, riots that, riots the other... and I'm a Scrabble player.

Natural enough, then that in contrast to sane people, my thoughts have frequently turned to trios this week - and I've got a trio of trios for you. Three is, indeed, the magic number!

We start in 1989, in some provincial theatre that they'd just opened in Stockholm. Not sure what happened to it, I suppose it still gets occasional gigs now and then. This bunch of reprobates, together with their hair, finished an appropriate third. Which was probably about right.

I'd ideally at this point introduce one of the many trios from the UK Song For Europe 1983, which really was Trio Central - but they seem to have largely disappeared from the YouTubesphere. Pity. I've found something from 1986 here instead, which is about one third hair and about two-thirds slightly worrying looking minders. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he's got another boyfriend on the far side of town, quite honestly. It's utterly refusing to embed, also, so let's linkify it instead. Probably saves a bit of bandwidth anyway.

Finally - finalement - finallich - a little complaint. Looking for Israeli missed opportunities in Hebrew is a living hell for a Latinate alphaphile like myself, so this week you're not getting the rather awesome Ah'avat David from the 1995 Kdam as I can't find it, and will have to settle for this strange thing from 1996 which stretches the trio theme of the night considerably further than it will go. For a start, there seem to be about six of the buggers...

Nick Potter and the Half-Baked Missed Opportunity

2011-08-03T20:42:00.000+01:00

Now, long-term readers will know that we at OnEurope have a love-hate relationship with the good people of Belgium. Specifically, those who live in Brussels and try to eke out a living by either forcing people to sign petitions for the homeless people-children of Europe or charging 5 Euros for a thimbleful of beer that wouldn't make a flea drunk or trying to turn a small model of a building that was never actually built in 1958 into a tourist attraction; those people are firmly on our Not Love list, and they're at best borderline for our Good People list.

Other Belgians are, of course, available. Like Matiz. Matiz really ought to have been somewhere close to the plane to Jerusalem in 1999, but VRT weren't really on their best form and decided to send I've Got The Windy Pops or something instead, leaving poor Matiz stuck in the semi-final with a points total to match the title of the song.

I think it's actually fairly cool.

I'll be your pilot if you'll be my crew? - WHAT?!

2011-07-30T13:52:00.000+01:00

I'm clearly not paying attention to Indiana Nick at the moment as I let that gem slip RIGHT under the radar!! ;)

I'm minded to ban him from posting, but that would be unsporting....

Anyway.,.... for my Youtubeness.... not a song, but possibly the BESTEST 2 minutes of Eurovision-ness anywhere!

Indiana Nick and the Opportunities of Missedness

2011-07-27T13:17:00.000+01:00

Now, back in the day, I had a rule of thumb in hand-selecting my missed opportunities. It had to be something that was (1) an opportunity and (2) missed. Ole' Karolina Backwards and Edsilia Dutch are very nice in their own ways, but they both got to the Eurovision stage so you can't really say that the representative broadcaster of their respective national countries had really missed a trick.

HRT, on the other hand, had opportunities to spare in 2000 and they missed nearly all of them. Here's just one. Free language has rarely been so.... free.

I'm Baaaaaaaack

2011-07-26T19:13:00.001+01:00

Portugal was lovely thanks for asking!

Site reopens fully on 1st August - It's only taking a Hiatus!

As for Baku.... i'm minded not to go and its up to everyone else except Nick to convince me!!

A Close Opportunity of the Missed Kind

2011-07-20T21:49:00.000+01:00

It has come to my attention that this is supposed to be a Eurovision blog, of sorts. We have, I will concede, been rather focussing on the going on holiday, doing exams and advertising chocolate flavoured cheese aspects of the contest of late - and these are clearly important angles to keep in mind - but there's also music of sorts to be mentioned.

I'm reminded of those hazy, lazy days of spring 2007 when I was pretending that national finals season wasn't actually happening until I got to Helsinki. This resulted in me hearing Les Fatals Picards, Roger Cicero, The Ark and Verka Serduchka for the first time on the same afternoon, which mentally scarred me for life.

A scar which healed more quickly was the one on my ankle where the Dutch delegation possibly literally trampled me in their rush to get to some press conference or something. If I'd known then what I know now, instead of "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow", they would have departed to the sound of me desperately crying "Dutch, you fools... sing it in Duuuuuuuuuutttttttcccchhhhhhhh. It suits the song!!!!!". But I didn't. So they didn't. And the rest is history.

OK, I admit it, I read the Daily Fail on occasions...

2011-07-09T22:50:00.000+01:00

But man oh man, it's come up trumps for me today. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the Truckle Cheese Company reads our humble blog. How can I be so certain of this?

Chocolate cheese! One glance at that delicious mature cheddar infused with dark chocolate curls and you just know this is going to be turophile heaven. That is just so wrong it's wrong. I think I want some!

Holidays!

2011-07-08T20:21:00.002+01:00

I'm leaving you in a flounce. Off on my annual Holidays to Portugal to prop up their flagging economy single handed with 200 Euros!

Soverign Debt Crisis?!

Back on the 25th!!

till then..... a song about Salmon ;)

Missed Opportunities are back again

2011-06-25T14:21:00.001+01:00

I feel that its that time of year that I can start posting missed opportunities on here again - of course, you are welcome to add your own schtick but hey - my blog, my rules!

To start with, something that I wish won the 2008 Eurovision Song Contest - just because it is bloody brilliant!

Isn't it May yet?

2011-06-16T17:39:00.001+01:00

If,like me, you are planning a trip to Baku next year, be warned, getting there could be tres expensive. Least I have seen for a flight is 500 eeenglish pounds return. Now, call me old fashioned but thats a helluva lot of cash for sub-standard entertainment. Is it worth it??!

It appears

2011-06-14T19:05:00.000+01:00

The blog has become mightilly popular after a link from James Kelly at scotgoespop.blogspot.com.
eerm blimey - HELLO! - Sorry its a bit dead, but i'm getting there - I would suggest http://www.oneurope.biz to complete your viewing experience - but that should be finished off by Monday at the latest ( I hope)

I probably flunked the exam BTW, still - more time for Eurovision! On the train home from said exam I saw the 14th May's Independent article on the Eurovision - and by article I mean double page spread! - It was actually very good and I would recommend it for those that can be bothered to find it on line!

Comments welcome, as always!!

Wish me luck.....

2011-06-10T20:28:00.000+01:00

I have an exam on the 14th and a doctors appointment the Saturday after!! - I've done the multimeedia update to a 1982 stylee and the main site is gathering pace...

I'm getting there Europe!

In other news, it appears that Azerbaijan still won the Eurovision - I know, this may come as a shock to some of our readers who have "moral winners" - but "moral" winners dont usually score the most points.... It's not the Eurovision Moral Winners contest!!!

I'm not dead.... yet

2011-06-04T16:19:00.001+01:00

Just lots and lots of work going on on the site, AND I have an exam on June 14th!

I have just about redesigned the 2012 index page at http://www.oneurope.biz/v2/2012/index.htm - go and check it out and comment if you like it ( click the boxes below).

Nick seems to be suggesting that the Maltese Jury are a little bit.. suspect... hmmmmm ;)) - no comment your honour!

A fortnight later...

2011-05-26T15:33:00.000+01:00

So yeah... a long time ago, on a blog far far away, I posed what proved to be some rather pertinent questions - and then made the most incredible horlicks of providing the right answers to them. Now we know the full horror of the results however, I can probably answer them more sensibly. In no particular order...

SWITZERLAND - will Europe be back from the loo before she starts going "lalalalala"?

No, apparently not.

ESTONIA - a cutesy, slight change of pace, but is it an interesting composition or 3 different songs gaffer-taped together?

Juries seemed to be a bit keener on it than televoters, but still not too enthusiastic.

SPAIN - is it the party song that gets everyone going, or just a piece of airy fluff in Foreign?

Both, as it turns out. But more the second bit than the first.

HUNGARY - the first uptempo stomper of the night, but can she pull it off and is it too early for her?

Juries and televoters both fairly unconvinced, and with the combined being less than the sum of the parts, it seems that even the bits that were convinced didn't have the decency to be in the same places.

FINLAND - can it make an impact as a show opener?

No, it can't. A comfy 3rd in the televoting in semi 1, dropped to 9th of the 10 semi 1 qualifiers in the final. I think after the last few years' results, we can now say with certainty that if you're sent out 1st in the Saturday show, you're dead in the water.

ICELAND - quite capable of playing to both constituencies, but is there enough in the song to carry it home?

Not so much, no. But it did alright, Sjonni's had his moment, and I dare say that Iceland will indulge Europe next year by sending Yohanna on the longest Eurovision journey ever.

LITHUANIA - is there more to her qualification than just the great draw and contrast it had on Tuesday?

Yes and no. More to do with the fact that it attracted juries like flies in the semi, so much so that it actually WON on the jury scoreboard. Televoters weren't overly impressed, in general, except where they were Lithuanian. See also Ha Dias Assim.

AUSTRIA - amazing presentation and performance, but is the underlying song good enough?

Yes it was. And no it wasn't. Juries swooned at the stagecraft, televoters went "meh".

ROMANIA - is there a market for a simple old-fashioned happy-clappy singalong pop song?

There is. It's just that it's not a very significant one. Me, pretty much.

RUSSIA - are we overlooking this one at our peril?

If we were televoters, then yes. What we've now learned is that a sufficiently contemptuous jury can kill even the unkillable. And that Team Sparrow didn't bribe them.

FRANCE - the song's a jury magnet, he's a televote magnet... or are they?

Oh, that nasty, spiky little "...or are they?". No, they weren't. Too professional by half and not nearly professional enough, all wrapped up in one great big empty parcel.

SERBIA - is retro in or out at the moment?

Difficult to be sure. Ask again in a year's time. More respected by juries than televoters, but not a lot to choose.

SLOVENIA - are they and Austria fighting each other to a standstill?

Quite right to put them both in the same bucket; both top 5 with juries and bottom 4 in the public vote. Perhaps the difference between jurors being able to say "These are both great!" and the public vote splitting down the middle for the pair of them?

MOLDOVA - will juries like this enough to supplement the Zdob si Zdub fanbase and the ESC bonkers vote?

Pretty much yes - not really enough to drop it or promote it from the "bonkers vote" position.

UNITED KINGDOM - is this as good as it should be?

Juries said "NO" and must have turned a lot of televoting 8s and 10s into 3s and 4s. Televoters and juries were both wrong and stupid in opposite directions IMHO, so I'll cheerfully accept 11th.

GERMANY - does it actually matter that Lena's already won this thing once?

I honestly don't know. I think it finished below its merit position, and juries and public were pretty much in agreement about where it should finish. Maybe it's just me!

GEORGIA - fishing alone in the noise-rock pond, but just like Greece - has that pond got any fish in it?

No, I think it's just got Georgians in it. Much preferred by televoters.

IRELAND - tweenie televotes all over the continent, but will the music professionals be impressed?

More impressed than the tweenies were, as it turned out. Who saw THAT coming?

GREECE - fishing alone in the Balkan ethno-pond this year - but are there any fish in that pond?

Televoters utterly loved it, to the point where it might well have ended up topping the poll from a late draw as it did in the semi. Jurors not nearly so impressed.

BOSNIA - can bank a sizable televote all over the Balkans and central Europe, but will the juries agree?

The juries only agreed in the Balkans and central Europe, it appears. Would have been a massive shock semi-final casualty behind Belgium (BELGIUM!!!), Slovakia and Ireland if only juries had been asked.

DENMARK - is there a limit on how many men can play midtempo guitars before fatigue sets in?

Possibly. More to the point is the difference between being drawn 3rd in the final and 18th in the semi when you're trying to impress a televoter. Juries kept the faith, and unlike Slovenia and Austria, were able to steer it to a top position against the public's wishes.

UKRAINE - the song's almost certainly not up to scratch, but is Europe willing to vote for some arresting artwork?

Yes, yes Europe is. The one slow song that was clearly higher in the public ranking than in the juries', and it's either because it's Ukraine or because of the sand.

SWEDEN - tweenie televotes all over the continent, but will the music professionals be impressed?

Impressed enough to let it do well, unimpressed enough to kill a genuine winning chance stone dead. Maybe if he'd been confident in the glass on Friday night...

ITALY - surely the professionals are going to love this, but will Europe en masse get it?

This is clearly the most perceptive question that has ever been asked in the history of blogging, and I shall merely sit back and luxuriate in the brilliance of what a brilliant question it was. And ignore the fact that I made a total horlicks of answering it correctly.

AZERBAIJAN - does chemistry matter?

I still don't know. I guess that if that was the only argument I could find against it, I should have realised that no-one else was going to find a solid argument either. Unconvincingly strong on both scoreboards, clearly the best of the bunch, but it was such a mediocre bunch...

Anything else you've noticed on them separated scoreboards that needs bringing to our attention? I'm particularly delighted by the quirky semi 1 split, which shows Greece and San Marino as a very conclusive top and bottom on the public scorecards - and tied for 8th with the juries!

Viewing figures on the up!

2011-05-23T19:25:00.000+01:00

It seems that viewing figures in the UK are on the rise. 9,68 MILLION viewers on average saw the Eurovision - up from 5,5 million last year. This represents the first time since 1973 that the ESC was the most watched show of the week in the UK and the first time that Britains Got Talent was not a number one rated show on a Saturday Night. - BARB also state that there were 15 million unique viewers to the Eurovision in the UK, surely some sort of record!

I Bet the BBC are laughing up their sleaves, and rightly so ;)

Switzerland - Selection already?!

2011-05-20T16:51:00.000+01:00

Are these people mentalists! - Its the 20th MAY, in the year preeeding the contest! - Mind you, they are having their selection again in December so hopefully it will serve them well!

In other news, PLEASE check out the test page for the main site at http://www.oneurope.biz/index_test.htm

I need your feedback!!

Well - when I say need.............

Quick idea for how the site might look

2011-05-19T19:03:00.002+01:00

http://www.oneurope.biz/index_test.htm

Thoughts please!

Congratulations. I have arrived!

2011-05-18T21:50:00.001+01:00

So this is where the cool kids hang out these days, is it? Well, as long as there's cheese and cake and creamy cream (and possibly occasional incursions by 3 minute bursts of low quality musical acts) then I'm in!

Can we have this fella as home town entry for 2012 please? Or are Ictimai doing the whole boring "Winner stays on" and coming 10th thing again, like Lena did?

Well it appears

2011-05-16T19:32:00.000+01:00

That this is going to be our new home - Looks good doesnt it! - Well not one to start with a whimper, I suggest a photo to announce our arrival - and this came to mind!

Stay Cheezy Europe!! ;)

Just a test post

2011-05-16T14:00:00.001+01:00

First post, just to see how it looks!