Thursday, 22 March 2012

Views from the unaccreditable... Part one

1. Montenegro
I don't rightly know what to make of it - I should understand the concept and hate the song... oh, wait... Thats about how it is.  The Montenegrins have been brave, but ultimately foolhardy?! - Qualifying?? Hell to the No.

2. Iceland
As you know if you read this often enough, wrong song won in Iceland and they have been saddled with a bad rewrite of a good vocal performance.  I think for all its drama it's just the wrong side of camp enough to qualify handsomely.  Europe like this sort of thing, but whether it'll get any further up a real scoreboard I'm doubtful.

3. Greece
Is it me?, or do we have to sue the Greeks for more money that they cant pay us back.  An Aphrodisiac is something that makes you fall in love, yeah,  not give you heartburn which this song does to me. It's generic Greece-by-numbers tosh that will appeal to its usual constituency which clearly is going to be enough to get StarTV banned *again* but if there is any justice it'll fall in the final as it's flatter than a squished hedgehog.  Qualifying, sadly.

4. Latvia
You know I love this song, but I can do it justice.  Beautiful Song? Not-so-much.  However, it does have a tune and a beat and a very repetitive and annoying back story.  Dissapointed that the lyric has been changed, but it still makes me smile and Anmary will give this one hell of a performance.  Plus side, video is very good and well made, but I fear that my constant pushing of this song will not even help it score points.... sadly.... boo-hoo.   I also think Sir Jagger, Mick will not be calling her ever....

5. Albania
Imagine Audrey Hepburn singing at you in Albanian.... that's what you are getting here in a nutshel to be honest.  Albanian is not the most earworm friendly language you'll ever hear, but this song has a certain..........."thing" about it now its had the usual amputation from RTSH - it could just be Audrey/Rona screaming at me - but the Juries might like that sort of thing.  Qualifying? - Not sure....

6. Romania
You know what this contest needs about now?... Something Uptempo.... and what do we get..... Half-arsed Uptempo.  Whilst Mandinga's is a good song and it tries its best to be positive and light and almost Spanish - It just misses the mark for me.  It's earnest enough to qualify easily and has all the ingredients but, unlike a cake from the Farmhouse Kitchen Microwave cookbook ( go on, look that reference up!), it hasn't been mixed to perfection, or pricked enough with a stick to rise to the occassion... More underdone souflee than prize winning Battenburg.  Grace Mulligan wouldn't be happy! Qualifying? - Yes

7. Switzerland
Many many moons ago, this lot qualified from a contest that was held in Ticino in a pub with Barbara Berta in attendance.  Now, I dont know about you, but if *my* country entered a song from a group singing down at the Dog and Duck public house, I would ensure that "free language" meant " Decernable English" - Again, its a Roy Walker song, "Good, but not right" - It has all the right elements, but that very bad English is glaringly bad.   Qualifying? - No

8. Belgium
 "Come and find me, I've been hiding from you" - No you haven't Iris, you're at the bottom of the scoreboard and we can seeeeee you or have you been playing hide and seek with the qualifying envolopes again you cheeky little scamp and forgot to put yourself in one? - I digress.... but the point is badly made.  This is a light song which will come up empty.  Possibly the weakest song of the 8 so far and clearly the weakest singer - adding up to the weakest link?! - Qualifying? - No

9.  Finland
Ahhh the Swede-o-Finns come up next.  Again, its very... um.... Finnish to be honest and, at the risk of repeating myself AGAIN (again....) it is the ingredients of a very fine cheese, all ready to be ripened with metal skewers in it but, at the last moment, some bastard came and removed the milk!! - It got something missing and I cant work out what.... probably a chorus I shouldn't wonder.  Qualifying? - No.

1 comment:

  1. here are my thoughts for the 1st half of semi 1

    Montenegro - not my kind of song.I think it's not anyone cup of tea.One of the weakest songs in this year.

    Iceland - Cliché is the first word that comes across when hearing this song.But I have to admit that it's a cliché done and performed well.

    Greece - This is like an apple pie that went all wrong. You are familiar with the ingredient and know what to expect, however somewhere in the process something went wrong and the apple pie turned out bad and not tasty and the only thing you want is to throw it away to the trash bin.Hopefully the voters of Europe will do the same to this song.

    Latvia - It's a a very sweet song with no cynicism in it. I like it quite a lot an hope it will do well. There is a retro feel for this song but in a nice way.

    Albania - not the best ballad of the evening. And in a certain segment she shout in a way that irritate me very much and it lose the appeal for me.

    Romania-it should be a song that make everyone want to jump and dance and yet something in the arrangement is not right and it miss the point.It sounds like someone was trying to hard and forgot to stop and listen.

    Switzerland - from time to time, I find myself hymning this song.It is 80's retro, with a singer that a combined voice of Adam Ants and Marc Almond. I like this one.Will be happy to see it qualifying.

    Belgium- small voice, small song.Quite boring.

    Finland-Suffering from coming after Belgium and has a similar rhythm and doesn't stand out.