Saturday, 29 December 2012

...and it's Happy New Year from me

You’ll have seen by now that Webmaster Phil has put a comment or two down below and on this website’s Facebook page.  But I’d like to add that it’s a pleasure to write occasionally for this site.  Many thanks to Phil and the rest of the team for putting up with me (that is, if they know who I am).  And to you, the discerning reader, for looking at this blog.  My ‘employer’ probably knows that I write for this site, but I do it when I’m off duty so there’s no problem.

Twenty Twelve has been a good year.  Maybe not a great year, but most definitely a good one.  From two countries choosing songs for the 2012 fest in 2011, it seemed a long one.  It’s all loony, and that’s why we like it.  Singing grannies with revolving bread ovens; women with dresses on fire; songs about Facebook social websites; girls swallowing snowflakes; rap sung in a farmer’s dialect; twins outstaying their welcome.  And outstanding ballads finishing third and sixth (J).

What do we have to look forward to?  Lots of 2013 songs chosen in 2012 (confusing innit), a slightly smaller contest, ‘a draw to suit all the songs equally’, fewer rehearsal days and no seating for the fannage.  This little black duck will be in sin-city Malmö (and maybe its sister city København) to bring you all the fun and games on what will prove to be an interesting year.  Will the Greeks actually send a singer to Malmö?  Will the UK of stuff send someone under the age of 65?  Will the Estonian national final be the best of the bunch – again?

If you’re still reading, I hope what’s left of 2012 is good to you, and have a great 2013 travelling around this fair continent to watch national finals lasting five hours.  And keep reading.  You never know, Riigi might one of these days pick a winner.

Keep smiling, cos I love ya all


PS - If you do know who I am, don't let on, as it preserves the magic! 

Happy New Year from OnEurope!!

Well.... more specifically me on behalf of the extended team really..

2012 has been difficult for the site, what with me not exactly being in Baku-On-Sea and other life shenanigans going on that most of you dont know, and wont know, about.  It is something of a shock, therefore, to tell you that we have survived pretty much intact for the duration of the year.

I admit we are not as technically flashy as some other sites, but we give you what you want.... not what we think you need to know - it's always been our mantra to do that - and, as far as we can, we'll do that for as long as people think they need to read what we write.

I want to thank Nick and Roy and Franko firstly for keeping me sane when my personal life has been falling apart around me, and by doing that, getting my head sorted out so I can give site what it deserves (!).  Jody and Monty for being invaluable in Baku and proving that the OnEurope name still has some credence with people that actually run the contest!, to Riigi for giving invaluable support through his secret bloggings and his current employer is lucky as hell to have him writing for them ( in my humble opinion).

Finally, I must thank you, our loyal and slightly unhinged readership, even if you come only for the music files ( mp3 whores that you are), or if you stay for the blog and the cheese and biscuits, dogs in shoes, cake and all the in-jokes that we have built up over the last 15 seasons, you clearly choose to come here out of your own free will, and for that the team and particularly myself, will always be grateful.  As British Caledonian Airways used to say " we never forget you have a choice", but we are glad that you choose to spend part of your Eurovision Experience with a bunch of middle aged weirdos!

On Behalf of the team, have a safe and happy 2013.


Saturday, 22 December 2012

FiK Rolling Blog

21.36 - And thats it... only 17 songs as Ani has been disqualified.  I'm off for a bit, might update with the winner in the morning - thanks for joining us tonight.. It's been...... LONG!! ;)

21.29 - Song 17 - Light lady rock now......  thankfully its nearly over!!

21.23 - Song 16 - Rap comes to Albania..and like most rap, its a bit shocking to be honest!! - Old man and his young/old son singing at me....

21.18 - Song 15 - Ku Je? - Another nothing song, best thing about is the drum beat and the ethnicy instruments.  It's lift lobby music!

21.15 - Song 14.  This is more like it - a bit of a powerful rock song, but I thought that it was in English - clearly the Joe Cocker of Albania here...

21.07 - Song 13 - Identitet.  All I can think of is " is it over yet"? - You need a constitution of strong stuff to get through this!! - More 80's rock 

21.02 - Song 12 - Anjesa..... Sounds like a slower version of her other songs, but this is clearly the best thing in it so far.  She has got a more rounded voice and it just looks the winner.  

20.53 - Song 12 -  NO - Adverts!!

20.49 - Song 11 - S'Jam Perfekt This is more like it - A decent song but, oh no, it goes horribly wrong in the bit between the verses - grrr! - But she sings it well enough - and she does look like every other winner!!
(Tech note - sorry if you havent been seeing this properly - Blogger is being inept!)

20.44 - Song 10 - This could well be the favourite to be honest - its a big old ballad!

20.40 - Song 9 - Dëshirë - Could mean Desire, could mean Traffic Warden for all I know.  This is very.... Ireland in the mid 90's.... Typical jury song, thankfully this song will have to impress a jury.  Very nicely sung, but could well be lost....

20.34 - Song 8  Kush ta dha këtë emër? - Jesus Christ she really isn't the prettiest.  That dress is accenting her....well.... Face really!! - more rock guitars and a staccato song that is actually quite pleasant and she has a good voice ( better than her face) - it'll do ok but not a contender. 

20.31 -  A flower presentation to someone.......

20.27 - Song 7 by Groupy Lynx - apparently.  Not sure which one is Africa and who the other ones represent, but I can smell a dog of a song with a very bad harmony in the first few bars.  More 1980's guitars and long rawk hair.  Oh dear oh dear...

20.22 - Song 6 now - S’jemi më atje by Kejsi Tola.  Not sure what to make of this.  Again, it doesn't do a great deal of anything but she is a "name" and she is selling it well.... I just think there are too many ballads in this contest and this isn't the best of them.  Carry me in Your Dreams was tons better.  This, however, has the obligatory (for 2013) rawk backing.....  not convinced. 

20.15 - If there is anyone out there and wants to get in touch - tweet me at @oneurope_esc and, if I get any, i'll shove em on the webs!!

20.14 - Adverts!

20.10 - Some presenter business - I think that there is a green room presenter that is looking slightly older than the pretends to be... and emerald green.... for the green room clearly!

2007 - Ti? Song 5.  I suspect we'll need something stronger by the time this is over.  Albanian women, it seems, are not blessed with beauty, but - having said that, she has a cracking voice and is powering this all over the place which is good.  Finally a semi decent song.  Should make the top few, but the false ending trick isn't up to much. 

2001 - Song 4 - Ylli im polar.  I thought right up until the song opened, that Kelly was a woman - how wrong can you be.   Another soft rawk song that leaves me cold.  If I had to pick a winner out of the first 4, it would have to be song 1 - which is a damning indictment i suspect.  

19.57 - Song 3 -  Këtu fillon parajsa.  Pass me the Valium, there isn't anything that this baldy balladier can do other than change song midway through... oh, wait... he has livened it up - but I can't concentrate on anything but his bald pate.... next. 

19.51 - Song 2. Nuk do të ndal le - Ballad number 1 of the night.  Yeah its not bad, but doesnt set the world alight.  Typicaly formulaic and that, sir, is a fine head of hair!!

19.48 - Song 1.  I çmendur për ty,  Light rock, which means not very good.  Doesnt have a backbone in it.  Nice trousers though!

19.47 - I think we're off....

19.46 - Jury is being introduced... DOn't they look happy to be there!!

19.43 - The presenting duo seem to be a little.... whats the word..... amateurish?

19.39 - and we're off with a mixture of 2 vignettes!! - This can only end well! Lets hope the 18 songs live up to their usual standard! - Quick retrospective actually looks good.  Anyone agree this contest has got loads better in the last 7 years?

19.34 - Still no show - quick etiquette message - If you are gonna comment, make it sensible!! - Offensive will be removed etc..etc.... ( GET ON WITH THE SHOW PLEASE!!)

19.32 - Nice TVSH adverts with baubels... still no songs yet or indeed a show lol

19.28 - So many windows, will my laptop cope!! - Who knows, or cares ;) - Keep refreshing as I write my thoughts and feelings bout the songs.... blimey the stream has kicked in!!

19.24 - Evening all - time for a rolling blog of FiK 2012/13 - No live chat shi - sorry, but this is the closest you can get ;)

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Blogging - on the train - It's yesterdays technology today!!

For an IT Manager, i'm a bit technically inept but I worked out how to tether my Iphone and now we have the net and a laptop on a train -  It's the past come right upto date.

Anyhoo, I hear you cry, what did I think of the 2 songs picked. 

Belgia.... oh dear oh dear.  Only they, and possibly TVE, can make a 3 song final last all morning, then pick the worst one of the three.  It's dire and he looked awful  and sounded hideously off key throughout the performance.  Nope... Not a prayer.

Switzerland, however, have done a good thing.  The Monkey, bless him, was weak - therefore the door was open wide for Melissa, wasn't it? - Clearly not, and I think that the Salvationistas have won by a wide margin.  Jessie was my shocker of the night - how on earth did that come top 3.  Clear he got the DSDS votes but there cant be that many people in Shitzerland that watch German Telly?!?!

Anyhow - back to my technical ineptitude and I hope this posts!!

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Swiss National Final Live Blog - Updating here throughout the evening

2109 - Results time..  3 names in random order.  1st one, Heilsarmee.2nd one, JESSIE RITCH (wtf) and third one is.... Carousell (wtf... again).  Winner is....... Heilsarmee

2058 - voting over.  Time to count the votes while Sinplus remind us who they are. 

2039 - Back to the jury for some more pointless jury stuff.  

2034 - Jesse Ritch   - His name may be good, but he's poor when it comes to his taste in outfits and song because its very out of tune.  He was in Deutschland Sucht ein Superstar but they clearly had better taste than the Swiss.  This is the worst sung song of the 9. It just passes you buy but the plethora of bad notes could well get you bleeding from all your aural orifices ( and some non Aural ones as well).  3 minutes, sometimes, is far too long

2029 - Nicolas, Song number 8.  Thankfully there is only one more to go.  It's called Wake Up, but it'll need a bomb up his arse in order for him to wake the Swiss Voters.  He likes the camera, but i think that his band are better than he is and it just sorts of falls off at the end. Franko thinks its the best in it - he's deranged.

2019 - Melissa - The supposed favorite sounded very flat to me - but I was in the khazi and getting a cider so who knows lol

2008 - Song 6. Nill by name and nill by nature.  It's a very poor album track that will make Europe go to the bog if it is in Malmo, but I suspect we'll be escaping that luxury.  Here at OnEurope Towers we have had our fill of cheese for now and are currently eating fudge, packed by yours truly...

1956 - Song 5 - It's the Sally Army Band singing a song about peace and love.  Now Bighead has flopped massively, this is the obvious winner to be honest from here.  Not a bad thing to be honest as it a very good song and contemporary, I just worry about a 90 year old from the army being on stage!.  It's downfall, if it has one, is the very cliched lyrics and it plods on to everywhere you would expect this song to go.  It ticks all the Eurovision boxes, Middle 8 and all.  Do the Sally Army like the Friend of Dorothy?!

1945 - Song 4 - The song that needs no introduction, clearly the winner.  However it is a bit weak on stage with no backing track that was in the video.  Someone somewhere has done a number on this song, in a bad way.  It has lost everything that it had in the preview video.  I am mortified and disappointed in equal measure.  It still makes me smile but it has lost everything that was good about the song. 

1938 - Song Number 3 - Sophie and Leonard.... First thought - You don't get to see an Accordion on Eurovision any more.  However Leonard ruined the song after about 2 seconds of his first note.  This song does have a french feel to it - but again its too..... bland for it to have anything standout about it.  I feel that this could have been alot more, and a bit louder and uptempo perchance.

1935  - time to speak to the pointless jury!!

1928 - Song Number Two, Chiara.  Like her namesake she's trying to sing a song from the heart, but unlike her namesake she clearly IS a stranger to pies as she is wafer-thin.  Vocally however, its very Italian but I think that its very slow to get going and really doesn't do a thing for me.  It would appear that the Swiss Italians have a hangover from Sinplus.  F Minus for this one to be honest.   She's going to have to lose the hat as well.

1921.  Song number one - Ally.  One of our cohorts said " don't like it, too jazzy for me" - he's spot on of course - She does seem to just be wandering about the stage for no good reason other than being here to make up the numbers.  Its very formulaic Jazz that some people would like.  Should this get to Malmurrrr, It'd do a big fat 0 as it doesn't light anyone's imagination.

1919 - We might be about to start...... hopefully.   If anyone is reading, PUT DOWN THAT FOOD, MILK THE CAT - we're about to start.  

1916 - Fat lesbian on Swiss TV.  Someone explain why this is on my screen?? - Nothing to do with the show I suspect, but the swiss love her.

1911 - showing off some background from the jury.  They are, in no particular order:
Sanna, Danijel,Claudio and Mali.  They are all Swiss nationals with "foreign" roots.

1905 - And we're off - Sven to come on stage and open the stage and we're off - songs will be on in a minute - though we are having a technical moment here at OnEurope towers - but my technician has fixed it ( he's a good Estonian!)

1903 - waiting........ again ;o)

1840 - Still waiting for the stream to start but it will - soon enough.  I have pizza and Diet coke - what could POSSIBLY go wrong?!?

1813 - Here we are waiting for the Swiss Final live from the setee where I am watching this from!!!  This will be updated as and when things happen!! - Which might not be much lol!

Tonight's the night then....

The night when that fine fine song - or eponymous hashtag #dothemonkey will be winning the Swiss Final.....  Or maybe it won't.  Either way we'll be watching and waiting for him to do the biz!! - He'd better do or my street cred will be right through the floor lol!

There might be a live blog here tonight - if we can be bothered to give you the service you deserve!!

Saturday, 8 December 2012

The Belarussian Candidate is now on the site in MP3 format

I've shoved up a copy of the Belarussian "winner" onto the site in mp3 format - its on the front page

It's.... a little bit underwhelming for my tastes!

Friday, 7 December 2012

4 Songs in and.....


I'm not a fan really......

yeah I am - but this is hard work!

After 2 songs in Belarus

I can confirm that I hate Eurovision!

A Melodian and a song to slit your wrists by?! - Thank the lord for the Beaver Band to come later!!!

Saturday, 1 December 2012

In a new development...

We're off to Malta again. Hoorah!!!

Today will see the launch of a semi new feature on the site, famous Eurovision Birthdays and a video therein (snappy title huh).

I have three to choose from today, one will go on the site and another will be here.

There is also the chance of a live blog or chat for Switzerland on the 15th and Belarus on the 7th!!! Am good to you I is!!!