So semi-final 2 then...

Oh yeah, songs... That's what we're all here for, isn't it.

So here's semi-final 2, through the eyes of a middle-aged, long-haired, punk rocker music hack. Some views may differ from the accepted norm...

Serbia
I don't want to like this, and that Lion King bit about three quarters of the way though makes my skin crawl, but the staging is fantastic - lots of close camera work and the traditional Serbian walking to the front en masse at the end - so together with the 48 points it's going to start with from all its proximity pals in the same semi, this should walk through. Curse it.

Macedonia
This one's grown on me considerably, but it might be just that bit too schizophrenic and shrieky to appear widely outside of South East Europe.

Netherlands
There's a growing bandwagon here that not only is this going to sail through the semi, but that's it's looking ever more like a contender for the title. I must admit that I'm beginning to come around to that view. The most likely song this year to do an Olsens.

Malta
The legs! The legs! Nicest man in the Universe has an engaging-yet-mediocre little number that should plug him firmly in that 8-12th place danger zone. So will his crazy dance help push either him, or the voters over the edge?

Belarus
You'll be so busy going "How in the name of heck did they do that?" to notice that there's not actually too much of a song in there. Still it looks pretty good, and might just squeak through on vapours. (But how in the name of heck DID they do that?"

Portugal
The common view is that this sweet little ditty is dead in the water. But don't be so sure. Every year a sweet song sung well confounds expectations and nips though the middle while no one is looking, and this might be the girl to do it this time around.

Ukraine
In like Flynn! No amount of unenthusiastic trumpet tootling will deflect from the sheer bouncy joy of this tune.

Bulgaria
If any song cried out for a camp dance routine it was this one. Sadly though she's stood on her todd among the mist and looking pretty lonely. On top of that, Chalga is a dying genre in its home country, so the rest of Europe surely isn't going to warm to it.

Slovenia
The ballad to watch. Seriously. (And she's fupping huge! 6' 1" at least. Must be something about the name Eva!)

Croatia
The ballad to make a cuppa to.

Sweden
There only seems to be two allowable views on this one - the second coming or over-rated fanwank (who did come up with that phrase? It wasn't me... for once). I take more of a middle view in that I quite like the song, and can't take my eyes off the performance, but I just can't see where it's popular votes are coming from. There's been a neat little slo-mo blip added right at the end too, which I've rather taken to.

Georgia
They have actually polished the turd. It's gone from behind-the-sofa cringeworthy to against-your-better-judgement loveable. And do you know what? I get a funny old feeling that this is going to make it to next Saturday by the skin of it's teeth.

Turkey
I'm not seeing this. It's alright, but there's not much of a song in among the quirk and charm. Fabulous boat-shaped McGuffin near the end, mind.

Estonia
Sounds nice, and has been given a sparse, simple treatment, but too often the camera dwells on his limp armed stance from behind and it ends up looking a bit messy. Borderline qualifier again.

Slovakia
Unless they're holding back for the big night, this lot were disappointingly static in rehearsal. This kind of song just begs manic leaping about and guitar-jutting horseplay, instead of the emo-flavoured disaffection that they're actually dealing us. Let's hope they get a bit more lively for the big night or they're well out of contention.

Norway
Exactly the same show as the MGP - but why fix what ain't broke. Should be a safe qualifier.

Bosnia
Nice. Safe. Dull. Doomed.

Lithuania
Two George Michael songs roughly glued together and a hamfisted and over literal visual gag doesn't really work for me as a credible entry. He can sing a bit, mind, and the back flip is tremendous sport. But no. Bye bye.

As for my top ten? With semi one I was struggling to drop enough songs to construct a list. With semi 2 I'm struggling to make up the numbers. I'll get back to you on this one...