22.42 - You know what happens next. Ten countries will have their names randomly read out. They proceed to the stage. Show ends. I'm off to the Eurocafe now. I understand Phil is off to the Green Room on Saturday. I need to find the geek that he's going with and make sure he befalls some odd accident. Good night and take care.
22.39 - Sweden has produced a whole range of international recording artistes. Some of them will now perform.
22.35 - All of the songs' destinies are in our hands, we're told. We need to wote, wote, wote for our favourites. But no more than 20 times.
22.28 - Petra arrives back in the Green Room on a Segway. She greets the almost-deserted sofas and tells us to buy the CD and DVD. No Blu-Ray again. Then we have another history lesson about the Eurovision Song Contests of old. Some forgotten gems are shown for our enjoyment.
22.22 - All songs performed, and if this were the real thing, the phone lines would be thrown open to discerning viewer of Europe. we see the usual recap of the 17 songs.
22.20 - We've had over the top from Finland, but that gets knocked into the shade with Cezar's, erm, modest stage show. I'll never look at a plate of raw meat the same way again. I'll be expecting it to start dancing around and growing before my very eyes. love it or hate it, you just can't take your eyes off this, as you don't quite know what's coming next. I think this could be through.
22.16 - The artists known as the S*l*a*i*n A*my are in a nice line. Our girl on thee big bass drum seems to be doing her own thing. Our double-bassist seems to know where he is this time. It's a good old safe performance from our sextet.
22.13 - Georgia up next, just to slow things down a bit. Dry ice, monochrome outfits and the customary singing loudly while almost nose to nose. I love it. It's like Ell & Nikki but far better executed. Another one that could be worth a punt.
22.10 - Our two Albanian boys look very self-assured. Not arrogant, just self-assured. Maybe in their comfort zone, performing before a big crowd. I was lukewarm to this when I first heard it, but it's arguably the most improved song of the second semi-final. And it has enough pyro to put a quiet night in Kabul to shame.
22.04 - We have another little break. Petra nips to the Green Room to speak to Farid Mammammammadov. Or, at least, a short-spiky-haired woman. And it was an insightful interview, I can tell you.
22.03 - Margaret [insert meat type here] Berger was recently seen in the neighbouring shopping centre's food court eating what else but a burger. Cannibalism perhaps? She still looks really good in that nice tight frock. But wait, there's something missing. A big audience reaction, that's what. Maybe tomorrow when the real partisanis are in the crowd she'll get a big cheer.
22.00 - Hungary next, and the crowd in the arena seem to be getting down with this one. Big cheers in the press centre and the hall. It's very very catchy, with a distinctive setting. Who cares it's in a langauge with 302 grammatical cases. It could be worth a little sneaky wager.
21.54 - Armenia's Dorians did a damn good set of songs yesterday at the Eurocafé, so Phil tells me anyway. I can imagine that they can. But this song just doesn't really suit them. We seem to have hit what could be deemed the comfort break part of the semi-final.
21.50 - I can't help thinking that Moran should've gone to Specsavers. She's a pretty thing, but those particular glasses make her look slightly frumpy. I think in this semi-final, she will seriously struggle to get beyond tomorrow night. The first semi-final might have been a different story. Sorry Israel.
21.47 - Would Scots wear kilts like the Greeks are wearing? They're sporran-less for a start. But the Greeks know how to party and it gets a huge cheer near where I'm sitting.
21.42 - Eyþór's on stage. Can you smell the ozone? Or is it Icelandic buried shark? Anyhoo, he's a bloody good singer. Hie's expressive and the wide-open arms pose didn't do Ryan Dolan any harm last night.
21.39 - Bulgaria's Samo shampioni (only mushrooms?) still sounds like a continuation of 'Voda' to me. Lots of drumming, more drumming, orgasming to music and the guy with the flattened badger on his face. To be fair, this is the best performance they've given of this song so far.
21.35 - This is my curious delight - to coin a phrase. Oneurope officially endorses Malta, cos we all want to go there for a two week festival of music next May. If you can, vote for Gianluca. He acknowledges the crowd with some high-fives. What's not to like. And some decent applause in the press centre.
21.30 - Our EBU Spokeswoman is back with a bit more useful information about Sweden. I wont' spoil the surprise, but she gets about a bit.
21.28 - Finns don't believe in the 'something blue' bit of a bride's trousseau. They prefer a nice vivid pink bandage on a knee. She has no signs of the cold she's meant to have and it all seems to work. But she does appear to have been at the high-sugar red cordial.
21.24 - Who ordered the Azeri-in-a-box? He's a lively one, whoever did. However it seems that in Azerbaijan, microphones cast no shadows. Could we be back-oo in Baku next year? Maybe.
21.19 - Lozano in ditching-his-glasses shocker. Esma steals the show here with her BIG red frock. But Lozano holds his own with the big notes. A popular pair of bunnies in the press centre.
21.15 - Valentina from the Serene Republic still has her big glowing ball. She also likes her claret fabric, as there can't be any left back home. modest applause in the press room. It all seems OK to me, but what do I know?
21.10 - This really impressed earlier, while PeR performed to 8000 schoolkids. Sparkly costumes may well win prizes, or at least a place at the big boys' table on Saturday night. And we all love a good stage diver.
21.05 - Our Petra is in a black-and-gold frock tonight, and likens herself to Mother Teresa. The Macedonian-born nun was apparently a fan of pop music.
21.03 - Our 'musical instruments' have left the stage, to be replaced by BMXers in dinner jackets. They make lots of interesting shapes and 'Vogue' poses.
21.00 - And we're off. No Loreen and children's choir to start proceedings tonight. We have a group of dancers on a slanty stage playing the part of musical instruments. First time I've ever seem someone impersonate a violin through the medium of dance.
20.51 - Hi folks. While Mr Phil and Mr Roy live it up watching this dress rehearsal in the Arena, I've stolen myself away from my official employer to say what I see. I'll try and keep this up to date as possible, but there is a slim chance my brain might melt down at about song 12.