Well, to start with, we had a new experience in the world of 'press centres'. Our vantage point was not an arena or a big plasma screen in a press centre? It was Screen 3 at the Morecambe Ellite cinema. More so because there was no half time intermission where they brought out Kia-Ora drinks, screwball ice creams or indeed albatross. Instead a scattering of various Eurovision oddballs and aficionados judged and guffawed their way through eight rehearsals.
Austria started. She's been practicing, that's for sure. But maybe with a hairbrush in front of the bathroom mirror shouldn't count. It's OK. Not good, not bad, just OK. Eesti (Mu isumaa...) was brilliant. She's great and looks positively blooming. Good work Birgit.
Slovenia gave us our first standout performance. She did hit all the right notes, but not for the song she's meant to be singing. The dancers dance this song to within a millimetre of its life. Croatia do their ethnic best with not just any old Klapa. But Super Klapa. If M&S did Klapa etc etc etc. But it does have its charm and contrasts well with the three things before it.
After a quick break, and grabbing a bite-sized sandwich for 30SEK, the fun continued with Denmark. I don't want it to win (there, I've said it). However, it is pretty much the finished article. She needs to look at the camera more than she does. She can't make her mind up which of the slightly similar dresses she'll wear. And the penny whistle guy wins the Alexander Rybak award for the most punchable face to date.
Russia did their assured safe-song-by-numbers schtick. It was also a load of balls. No, don't click away. There were glowing balls all around Princess Fiona and her cohorts. She manhandles two more, but we're not sure why. I'm sure all will be revealed sometime soon.
Then came Ukraine. Memorable is one word. Laughable is another. 'What the f***' is three more. We had a giant carrying the damsel Zlata and placing her on an unrealistic 'stone' which is apparently very easy to fall off. That delight will no doubt happen soon. What were they thinking at the planning meeting? "We need either baby pandas or giants". Pandas are obviously difficult to come by, so the giant won.
Finally, Anouk brought some semblance of order back to proceedings. She's clearly an accomplished performer and will get it right every time. But this still leaves me cold. Stone stone cold.
There is karaoke afoot tonight somewhere near my secret location, so I get another opportunity to point and laugh. Will anyone spot me? I'll be evasive and if you do know who I am, don't let on.
Keep the faith, you know you love it here.