Saturday, 4 May 2013

Spring is in the air....and so is Eurovision!

Well it broke 20 degrees today in the big smoke and boy did I feel it leaving the gym after my 15 minutes on the treadmill.  I normally do more than that but I was out with That Monty last night at a very off the wall, and thoroughly enjoyable, drag show in the east end called The Tranny With The Fanny!  We have it all here you know..

So this time next week we will be in place in Malmurgh to give you on the ground updates of the parties and the gossip, and perhaps some rehearsal news too but you know us, we like to party!!  And this year editor in chief That Phil will be with us so we might need to watch ourselves..... Haha of course we won't!! 

I am arriving an hour and a half ahead That Monty on Thursday, well he is a minor Eurovision celebrity now with his wonderful Eurovision Countdown as featured on this blog getting hit after hit and he needs the red carpet rolling out for the arrival.  Actually best not big him up too much, we are arriving on different flights due to pricing issues and I am going to need to wait for him and buy our train tickets over the bridge to the arena so we can make the dash to grab our accreditation, not a moment to lose.....

So I promised my second semi preview and I am getting there reader, a little slowly I admit, but I'll have it done before I fly and even have a look at the automatic qualifiers.


I really hope that SVT didn't choose this as an opener for this semi down to its lyric, Here We Go, that would be just naff.  It is going to be a lively opener and fun but I fear it's going to look all a bit amateurish and average.  I've always time for a lean torso in a silver spangly jacket but this isn't going to make the Thursday night viewer sit up and go 'wow'.  The band name PeR stands for please explain rhythmn, I could quite easily ask them to explain why are they bothering.  

Not qualifying


Or San Marion as the typo read a couple of years back!  I much prefer San Marion!  Now in these austerity times, our smallest of Eurovision nations gives you a special offer, a BOGOF, two songs for the price of one and totally ups their game from last year's 'funny for a minute or two' Facebook song. My friend Chris sums this up well in his excellent blog when he asks whether this song is two minutes of credibility spoiled by one minute of cop out or two minutes of dullness saved by a minute of dance ditty.  In true Libran fashion I like both songs and don't mind them welded together so long as she flounces with that chiffon dress as she did in Amsterdam and employs hot backing dancers and/ or pyros.  Everyone is saying it, and I'm inclined to agree, San Marion's first Eurovision final.  Will Siegel and Monetta make history and do the hat rick next year in Oslo/Copenhagen/Dublin? 



Now I loved Imperija but I'm not moaning about e change to Pred Da Se Razdeni as I actually rather quite like it.  Esme is fab and there's nothing at all wrong with a 69 year old Balkan lass caterwauling of a Thursday evening on a Eurovision stage.  Lozano looks a little lost next to her big persona yet he looks quite a fresh and ripe young thing who'd I'd like to take under my wing in Malmo.  Will this make it?  I was at the bar in Amsterdam when this was performed and it sounded to my ears a big old mess.  I was however mithered by an unforgiving Dutch crowd who seemed to think it strange I'd want to get to the bar during a three hour show!  There's no ex Yugo support here but neighbours Albania and Greece will surely get it and Bulgaria and Romania too will like it.  Probably enough to carry it overthe line.  I'm going to say yes. 



Now then attention attention, swarthy totty alert!!  Our Azeri boy Farid Mammogram has been sending male and female hearts a fluttering ever since his selection back in February.  He's into just about every sport going and has the body to match.  In this year of stand out eyebrows, his do indeed stand out and just avoid meeting in the middle of his forehead and he fair smoulders on that stage with his smart casual shiny jacket and jean combo.  What's that?  Rosé it's a singing competition FFS!!  Oh yes sorry, so the song.  The verses are a bit plodding but I wasn't really paying much attention during those!  We've been here many times before at this competition but the chorus lifts it and the break is going to be quite nice I think when they throw it up to the spider cam and we get to see him from above, arms flailing with the female backing dancers also flailing.  This will be slick and easy on the eye disguising a fairly pedestrian couple of verses. 



Now this really does tick a lot of boxes doesn't it?  Tongue in cheek fun poking, catchy tune and a madcap and lively routine with added oomph given to her euro campaign by the employment of the tagline Ding Dong.  There will be many a dings donged in the euro club in Malmo I fear and by the time Ms Siegfrids qualifies on Thursday night it'll be more Shoot Me rather than Marry Me and those faux flowers will no doubt be rammed up her gulf of Finland!!  But it's very catchy, infectious and following another ballad this must surely get through.  We saw what willmmost likely be the performance in Amsterdam and I enjoyed it immensely. 



More swarthy totty here!  Well this one is more 'oh so sweet you could take home to meet your mother' totty and he's a doctor too so this singling lark is just a sideline.  I had the fortunate task of picking up our Gianluca from Heathrow last month and dropping him off at his central London hotel for the preview party in the Shallow Lounge.  Exactly as you'd expect, sweet, unassuming and with that gorgeous Maltese accent.  I get the feeling the Maltese delegation are quietly confident of qualifying and this indeed does seem very fresh and authentic after all the ballads.  I've only just realised he comes straight after Finland, I hope people won't be still in shock from that to take him seriously.  He oozes charisma and surely this is as charming as he is?  



So another past Eurovision act now!  It worked for Mr Logan, didn't really work for Jedward, it probably will work for Siegel and Monnetta but I'm really thinking it may be ill advised for Elitsa and Stoyan.  I guess there's a market for this kind of ethno nonsense and Bulgaria are employing their best resulting act to date again but I think it's going to seem like they're a one trick pony and I think it isn't as good as Voda and will be the perfect time to rush to the kitchenette to pop the kettle on or drain the box of wine depending on your bent.  I fear they won't make it through, and honestly won't lose sleep over that. 

Not qualifying


Mmmm a long haired rocker guy singing a Celtic snooze fest that's really been done a bazillion times before.  I'm trying to envisage how this may be done on stage without being another toilet break after Bulgaria.  Nonsensical video lending nothing more to an awfully trite ballad that I detest and I don't detest much dear reader.  Sorry Island this is turgid crap and I need to move on now... 

Oh God not qualifying 




  1. "those faux flowers will no doubt be rammed up her Gulf of Finland". Not sure how many euphamisms you used there, one or two???!!!!

    1. I lose count sometimes... Love a good euphemism!!

    2. I lose count sometimes... Love a good euphemism!!

    3. See I can't even count my own replies! Dizzy blonde!!

  2. I understand that Realchrisparkle is a really good blog :) Oh, so's this by the way! Have fun!

  3. Shameless self-promotion. And who the hell has the surname 'Parkle'?